Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
