dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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