She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Randomize
