he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize
