you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
