he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
