hotel room ftw
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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