Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
You're like the curious george of whores
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
