Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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