Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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