O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
