If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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