I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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