ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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