when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
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