he wants to bone in the snuggie
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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