Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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