You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
