he wants to bone in the snuggie
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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