the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even know how to be here
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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