my vag is so smooth its legendary
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
