Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
