Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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