I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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