I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize