Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
