STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
