We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
