i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize