Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Shame is for Republicans.
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