last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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