i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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