Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
