Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
