i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
