it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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