Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
