Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
