Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
