Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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