At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Randomize
