the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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