I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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