last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
