She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
The air was thick with penises
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
