Porn is love you can see.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
false alarm. still invincible.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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