he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize