the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
It's blow job season.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
