last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
