so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
