shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
