I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
