dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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