I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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