I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
