I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
