You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
