We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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