i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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