And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
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And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
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How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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