i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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