fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
