they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
