I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
