8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
